Instead Of No
by Lady Jesca
Summary: Ever wonder what would have happened if Buffy said yes to Xander?


Author's Notes: This was written right after getting Season 1 on DVD. Instead of No is about what would have happened had Buffy and Xander gotten together. How different would things now be?  
  
There's no spoilers. Characters belong to Joss Whedon. It's rated PG and has a slight curse in it.  
  
Oh and just one change. No Buffy/Spike this time 'round. Lets just say this is before she realizes her addiction to vamps has flared again.  
  
**~**  
  
Xander leaned on the counter and smiled easily at Anya. Their words were blurred as they talked to one another, but that was probably because she wasn't trying to listen to what he was saying, just watching him in general. She watched as Anya laughed at something he said and at the lazy smile that pulled the corners of his lips up. Then she swallowed a lump in her throat as she watched him lean over and gently tuck a whisp of hair behind Anya's ear.  
  
Buffy sighed one of those deep sighs. Things could have been different. Her life could have been different. She could have had him. She could have had Xander Harris. What if she had said yes when Xander had asked her to the Spring Fling so many years ago? Sometimes she wished she had.  
  
Anya looked over at Buffy and frowned. Just then her face contorted and scabbed over as the air in the room crackled.  
  
"You'll get your wish if you but only speak it." Anya's voice was harsh and Buffy looked at the others. They were all looking at her.  
  
Buffy swallowed and kept her eyes focused on Anya and Anya only.  
  
"I.I wish I had said yes, instead of no, when Xander asked me to the prom back in high school." A flash of light separated her from this reality as she was suddenly dancing with Xander.  
  
Buffy looked around as time speed dramatically and she jumped as she felt a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Buffy!" Xander said surprised as the slayer awoke and jumped up.  
  
Buffy looked around the shop. It was a dream. She turned and looked at Xander, smiling.  
  
"Hey, guess I nodded off there."  
  
"Yeah. Have I ever mentioned how cute you are when you're asleep?" Buffy's eyes widened and she opened her mouth to speak when Xander pulled her in his arms and kissed her gingerly on her lips.  
  
At first Buffy was frozen, she didn't know what to think or do, but soon her body started to respond as she found herself surrendering to the kiss. How did she not know he could kiss so well? Xander's mouth seemed to massage her lips as a tingle spread from every part of her that was touching any part of him.  
  
The chiming bell that indicated someone had entered the shop made Buffy suddenly remember the now and she pulled back from Xander and looked to see Anya watching them.  
  
"Oh God, we were just.well I was just." Buffy smoothed out her clothes as she searched her brain for an excuse as to why she was kissing Xander.  
  
"I know I know, you two can't keep your hands off of each other."  
  
"No! It isn't like that." Buffy looked panicked.  
  
Xander laced his arms around Buffy's middle and rested his head on her shoulder and started to nibble on her earlobe.  
  
"Xander!" Buffy struggled to get away from Xander's grip as Anya started to laugh. She shook her head at the two before going to the cash register.  
  
"You two are as bad as Rupert and I."  
  
Buffy froze. Anya wasn't mad. And she wasn't being her usual possessive self. And did she just say Rupert? Giles came out from the basement door and smiled as he passed behind Anya, clearly delivering a small spank right square on her ass, making Anya jump and squeal as she turned and smacked him lightly in the arm.  
  
"You better watch yourself, Rupert. I was a *vengeance* demon after all. I may not have the magic, but I remember how to pay someone back!"  
  
"You wouldn't dare."  
  
"Why? 'Cuz you're the great and mighty Ripper?"  
  
Giles lunged at her, pinning her to the counter. "Perhaps. Or perhaps it's because you know you simply cannot win."  
  
Time froze for a moment and then Giles' ever so light beginnings of movement cascaded into a frantic kiss as the two clasped onto each other. Buffy stared in open-mouthed astonishment.  
  
"Egad! Warn us before you do that!" Xander said as he spun Buffy out of eyeshot of the two. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, "We'll finish this later, at home."  
  
Buffy swallowed. "Home?"  
  
"Yeah, home, you know where we go to after a hard days investigating. The place where our stuff lives. Home."  
  
Buffy turned and looked at him. She smiled unsteadily and tried to pass off her blunder. "Oh yeah, that place."  
  
"You ok? Maybe you should get more of a nap. I hear they've done wonders with beds these days. Hardly anyone sleeps at the table anymore."  
  
Buffy smiled. "Bed.as in our bed?"  
  
"Unless you want their bed," Xander said as he jerked his head toward Giles and Anya, who hadn't seemed to come up for air.  
  
"I'll pass."  
  
Xander smiled at her and kissed her nose.  
  
"Besides, I think since we announced the engagement, it is safe to say people know about us sleeping together."  
  
"Engagement?" Buffy's mouth went dry. She and Xander.engaged? What had happened? Something had obviously happened. All the sudden Giles and Anya were a couple and she and Xander were engaged and living together. 'What else had changed,' she wondered. A number of jumbled thoughts spilled over in her brain as she thought about the prospects.  
  
"Uh, I think I'm going to walk home." Buffy said. Xander frowned in earnest.  
  
"Need some company?"  
  
"No, that's ok. I'll just.walk it."  
  
"It's dark."  
  
Buffy smiled. Things couldn't have changed that much. "I am still the slayer, right?"  
  
"Of course you're the slayer. I just worry."  
  
"Don't. I'll be ok. I'll see you later.uh.I mean.when you get home." Buffy grabbed her coat and practically ran out, trying desperately not to look at Anya and Giles.  
  
--- --- ---  
  
Buffy walked down the streets of Sunnydale. Not much had really changed. She was just with Xander now. And Anya was with Giles. She didn't like to think on it too much. Thinking about them together led her to think about the kissing and the kissing led her to want to hurl. Of course even though Giles looked old enough to be her father, Buffy knew that Anya was over 1100 years old. So actually it was her cradle robbing, despite appearances.  
  
Buffy stopped suddenly as she was jerked out of her thoughts. She swallowed as her palms began to moisten. The hairs on the back of her neck stood and her eyes would not vary from their target. Across the street, illuminated only by a dim lamppost was Angel. He didn't smile; he didn't do anything. He just.watched her. His eyes were piercing and his gaze made her instinctively want to run. It was the gaze of a predator and she seemed well aware that she was the prey.  
  
Buffy's eyebrows knitted together as she wondered what changes had overcome him. He took a step out from the alley that was behind him and the light from the lamp seemed to wash over him. His hair was longer as it brushed his shoulders and he didn't seem to wear anything but silk and leather. A scar ran from his temple all the way down to the corner of his mouth, which started to turn into a snarl. Whatever happened, she was starting to get the idea that he was soul-less.  
  
A crowd passed in front of Angel and Buffy waited as they passed. With a start she realized he was not alone. On his arm, smiling a cat-like smile was Darla. It had been a long time since Buffy had seen her but Buffy knew she'd recognize her anywhere. Darla blew her a kiss just before another bunch of people walked in the way of her sight. When the people cleared, they were gone.  
  
Buffy looked around as the sights and sounds of the world rushed back to her again. She reached around to her back to feel the familiar feeling of a stake, held by a strap in back of her jacket. At least she had that with her.  
  
Buffy thought about trying to hunt down Angel and Darla, but decided to instead get home. She still didn't know what else had changed.  
  
--- --- ---  
  
"Dawn, I'm home." Buffy looked around the living room as she walked in. She heard loud music coming from upstairs and she frowned. She quickly ascended the staircase as she realized the music was coming from Dawn's room. The floor nearly vibrated as Buffy threw open the door to Dawn's room, gasping. Dawn's hair was cut very short and streaked in drastic blonde and pink streaks. From her ears dangled two long earrings with wicked looking spiked crosses on them and on her neck she bore a blood-red tattoo that said, "Bite me." Buffy's eyes widened in horror at the appearance of her sister. Once cute, she now was dressed in the rattiest of clothing and the bedroom smelled of incense. Of course, she couldn't see where the incense would be burning from, with the papers and clutter all around the room.  
  
Dawn cocked her head to one side and stood among the wreck of her room, staring at Buffy as if she were daring her to enter. Buffy almost hesitated, but anger flared up in her. She stormed into the room and turned off the stereo.  
  
"Dawn! What the hell has gotten into you, are you out of your mind?" Buffy couldn't help the raised voice.  
  
"Like you give a shit." Dawn walked over and plopped on her bed, lighting a cigarette. Buffy stood in shock.  
  
"What.what are you doing?" Buffy sounded exasperated.  
  
Dawn snorted. "Oh come on.you aren't so pure and innocent that you have never seen a cigarette before. Xander might believe that "I'm a little innocent" routine, but I'm your sister, I know better."  
  
Buffy swallowed, unsure of what to say or do. Dawn had never acted quite like this before. Even when she was defiant before, she wasn't like.this.  
  
"Buffy, what are you doing here?" Buffy froze. Suddenly her mind was no longer on Dawn, and her eyes didn't focus even as she heard Dawn reply for her.  
  
"Oh you know Buffy, can't stay out of anyone's business. Or life. She still thinks the world caters to her."  
  
"Dawn, that's a terrible thing to say to your sister."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Her mother. Buffy turned and tears spilled down her cheeks as she ran to her mother and hugged her tightly, slightly throwing them out of Dawn's room and into the hallway.  
  
"Oh my God, you're.I mean.you're." Buffy couldn't say it for fear she might disappear as she hugged her mother tightly to her.  
  
"Buffy, what's happened, what's wrong? Is Xander ok? Has something happened to him?" Joyce seemed confused as her daughter smashed her in the hug.  
  
"Could you kiss up elsewhere?" Dawn asked just before she slammed the door. A moment later and the music blared once more.  
  
Buffy looked at her mother, finally feeling as though she could pull away.  
  
"Are you ok, Buffy?"  
  
"I.just.missed you."  
  
Joyce smiled. "I missed you too. Let's go downstairs where we can hear ourselves think.or a bomb go off should one land in our house." She smiled as she led the way down the stairs. Buffy just followed, a bit shocked.  
  
"So to what do I owe this visit?"  
  
Buffy suddenly realized she didn't live here.  
  
"Oh, no reason. Just wanted to.say hi."  
  
"Oh. Well, you're just in time. I was about to have some hot chocolate before bed. Want some?"  
  
Buffy smiled as she slowly lowered herself into a chair and watched her mom move around the kitchen. It was almost as if she hadn't lost her. "Sure."  
  
Buffy looked to the ceiling as the beat changed to the music still blaring.  
  
"How can you think with her music like that?"  
  
"Oh, you know Dawn."  
  
"I thought I did. Did you see she was smoking?"  
  
"Yes, I know, but what am I going to do? Everybody keeps telling me to make her stop, but you know I can't make her do anything. Things were going good for a while, but the announcement of the engagement has her all in an uproar again."  
  
Of course. Dawn had a crush on Xander, and Xander was with Buffy. That explained Dawn's apparent hatred for her.  
  
"Yeah, but Mom. The tattoo, the hair, the clothes. she needs help."  
  
"I know. She just got kicked out of school, again."  
  
"Again?"  
  
"Yeah. She apparently painted a lewd sex scene about the principle and her new art teacher."  
  
Buffy smiled a little. "What, is the principle not her type?"  
  
"His type." Joyce corrected.  
  
Buffy's face twisted into disgust as she realized the implications.  
  
"Ew."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well.I better go. Xander thinks I've gone home, so I should get there."  
  
Joyce smiled and got up. She leaned over and kissed her daughter on the head.  
  
"Hey mom?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Where is home?"  
  
--- --- ---  
  
Buffy peeked in the apartment and saw that no one was inside. She walked in and put her stuff down by the door. She looked around and saw her obvious touches added to the apartment, but she still couldn't believe it.  
  
All of this because she went to a dance with Xander. Angel was bad, Darla was alive, Anya was with Giles, Giles was here, her mother was alive, Dawn hated her, and she and Xander were getting married. It all seemed so surreal. She wondered how one little thing could change the course of life so drastically.  
  
The door opening behind her startled her out of her thoughts. She turned and smiled as Xander walked in.  
  
He closed the door behind him and dropped his coat on the floor. She had to admit; she always had wondered what he'd be like. The way he was staring at her, she knew she was about to find out.  
  
--- --- ---  
  
Buffy smiled as she could feel the sunlight on her face. She opened her eyes and looked behind her at a sleeping Xander. Last night was the singularly most exhilarating night she could remember. She snuggled into Xander's arms, not wanting to leave him. His strong arms pulled her in tighter. How come she hadn't noticed his buff arms and broad chest the first time around?  
  
Buffy's eyes fell onto the clock and she saw it tick to 9 o'clock. Buffy jumped out of bed.  
  
"I'm late!"  
  
She started to scramble for her clothes finding them in the closet and dresser.  
  
Xander sat up, yawning and then frowned. "Late for what?"  
  
"For class!"  
  
Xander snorted. "Buffy, what class?"  
  
Buffy stopped.  
  
"You missing high school or has your mom been harping about college again?"  
  
She wasn't in school.  
  
"Uh. I just forgot." She smiled. "I dreamt about school."  
  
Xander smiled. "Well I dreamt about you." His eyes looked her up and down. Buffy smiled. He seemed more confident than he used to. She liked it.  
  
Xander looked at the clock. "I on the other hand should get to work."  
  
"Right. At the site, right?" She crossed her fingers, hoping she was right about his construction job.  
  
"Right."  
  
Buffy smiled.  
  
"So.this might sound strange. But.do I work?"  
  
Xander smiled. "Not in the traditional sense of having a job, no."  
  
Buffy nodded slowly, a frown on her face. "Well, what do I do.all day?"  
  
"You slay, of course."  
  
"During the day?" Buffy's eyes widened.  
  
"Well yeah. Don't you remember? The tunnels?" Buffy's face obviously reflected her confusion.  
  
"You know, the tunnels Angelus is based from. The ones full of vampires. You said it was like a whole city down there. A city of vampires."  
  
"Oh.yeah.those tunnels. And, where are they again?"  
  
Xander looked at her critically. "Are you ok?"  
  
Buffy nodded a little.  
  
"They're at the cemetery."  
  
Buffy smiled. "I knew that."  
  
"Maybe you should go see Mr. The Bloody before you go slay today."  
  
"Spike?" Now she really was confused. What was he up to?  
  
"Yeah, although I wouldn't call him that if I was you. You know he gets testy when you bring that up."  
  
"Yeah, wouldn't want him getting testy. Because he's."  
  
"Your watcher."  
  
Buffy stood in stunned stillness. Spike? Her watcher?  
  
"Ok, now I'm getting wigged. Do you honestly not remember?"  
  
"I just think I need to wake up more or something."  
  
Xander watched her a little. "Go let William have a look at you before you slay."  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Xander stood up and kissed her on the head before walking out of their bedroom. He started to gather his stuff to leave while Buffy watched him.  
  
"Just one more thing."  
  
Xander looked at her.  
  
"I thought Giles was in England."  
  
"Anya didn't want to go to England. She didn't want to be closer to a Watcher's Council that would no doubt be keeping an eye on their ex-watcher with is ex-demon."  
  
"Ah."  
  
"See you soon."  
  
Buffy nodded and waited for Xander to leave.  
  
After the door closed, Buffy ran into the bedroom and hurriedly dressed. She grabbed her jacket and some stakes and armed herself before she left.  
  
--- --- ---  
  
Buffy walked towards the shop, hoping one of them could tell her where to find Spike. She went to his crypt, but it looked like it had been vacant for years.  
  
She couldn't understand what would make Spike into a watcher, and why the council would allow that.  
  
"Hey! Watch it!" Buffy heard as she nearly slammed into someone.  
  
"I'm sorry." Buffy paused as she saw who she nearly had run over. "Cordelia! Since when have you been." Buffy stopped, realizing she probably never left for LA. She noticed the outfit Cordy was wearing and looked into the warn face of Cordelia. ".waitressing."  
  
"Yeah yeah, laugh it up. I'm a big loser; I have to wait tables because I can't act. I've heard it, it's tired." Cordy pushed past Buffy. She let her go, watching after her for a moment before making her way back to the shop.  
  
The bell sounded her entrance and Giles smiled as he saw her enter.  
  
"Buffy, how delightful. How are you?"  
  
"Wiggin."  
  
He frowned. "What's wrong?"  
  
"I'm having a slight.memory problem."  
  
"A memory problem?"  
  
"Yeah, like I have holes in my memory."  
  
"Oh. Well I hope it gets better." Giles pat her on the shoulder and turned his back to her.  
  
"Wait!"  
  
He looked at her.  
  
"That's it? 'Hope you get better?' Aren't you going to look stuff up? Find a cure?"  
  
Giles laughed. "Good one."  
  
Giles started to turn when Buffy put her hand on his arm. He looked down at her, confused. She wasn't smiling.  
  
"Giles, I'm serious."  
  
Giles' frown turned to confusion as he realized she was quite serious.  
  
"Buffy, I gave that up. I don't look stuff up. I'm not a watcher. I'm a shopkeeper. Anya and I decided long ago that I should get out of the watching business and concentrate on the business that was making the profit. I have a family to think of now. With Anya pregnant and the doctor talking about twins."  
  
"Pregnant!? Twins!?" Buffy nearly shouted. Giles smiled.  
  
"Quite. You see my predicament." Giles gently pulled away from her grasp. "But you have William now, by all accounts a good watcher. I dare say I could do as good a job. He has an understanding of vampires I could never have possessed."  
  
"That's because he is one."  
  
"Was one."  
  
"Was one?" Buffy started to feel faint.  
  
"Yes. After Dru dumped him, he decided to work on our side to defeat her. His love for writing and books from his living years made him a natural when it came to researching and remembering. Soon the council was taking an interest in his good deeds and decided to do him one. They found an ancient spell that could perform the transformation and poof! Human."  
  
"But if the council has a spell that could turn a vampire into a human, why not cure all the vampires?"  
  
"You really don't remember, do you?" Giles shook his head in wonder. "Well, it takes a special kind of vampire to make the spell work. He has to want mortality more than life, and he has to have honor in his heart to match the honor in his new soul."  
  
Buffy grabbed the nearest chair and sat down. "This is getting wiggy."  
  
"Maybe I should call William."  
  
"Willow. What's changed about her?"  
  
"Changed? What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean, what's she doing lately."  
  
"Oh. Well, her and Tara are honing their magic, I expect."  
  
"I thought Tara didn't like Willow using magic?"  
  
Giles smiled. "Well if Willow didn't, she wouldn't be able to teach Tara, and Tara is determined to find a cure for Oz. She said if one can be found for Spike, she'd find the spell to make Oz fully human."  
  
"Oz." There was a blast from the past. "What's he up to?"  
  
"Oh, he's back for a little while, but his rigorous schedule has him leaving again next week."  
  
"Leaving?"  
  
"To finish their tour.Buffy, I'm getting worried."  
  
"Me too."  
  
"And Tara is finding a spell for Oz because."  
  
"I don't think I quite follow."  
  
"Well.I mean, why isn't Willow looking for it?"  
  
Giles shrugged. "Probably because Tara is in love with him. Willow isn't."  
  
"So Tara and Willow aren't. you know. no, I don't suppose they are." Buffy supplied at Giles' widened eyes.  
  
"And Willow? Who's she with?"  
  
"William. I'm going to call him."  
  
"Willow is with SPIKE?"  
  
"I'll thank you to keep your trap shut, if you can't respect my wishes to be called William."  
  
Buffy turned to the entrance as she saw Spike. His hair was brown, but still spiky. He wore a suit, albeit, a nice tailored suit. No tweed in sight. He stood in the doorway, with the sun to his back, pouring in over his shoulder, and she couldn't see any of the customary smoke she usually saw.  
  
"Uh.William."  
  
He frowned. "What is it?"  
  
"She is experiencing memory gaps."  
  
Spike frowned. "Memory gaps?"  
  
Giles nodded. "She doesn't remember you as her watcher. She didn't know you were human. She didn't know about Tara and Oz and so on."  
  
Buffy watched the two of them as they talked about her as if she weren't there. Some things didn't change.  
  
"Hello! What is it with you watchers? I'm right here, you don't need to talk about me like I'm not."  
  
"Err.sorry, Buffy." Spike said as he took out his pocket watch and peered at the time. "Time for your lessons."  
  
"Lessons? But what about my memory."  
  
"Time for your lessons. You wouldn't want to be late for school would you? Buffy?"  
  
Buffy stared at him in confusion for a moment. "School?"  
  
"Yeah the place where you go and we study?" Willow said as she shook Buffy again.  
  
Buffy jumped as she realized she had been dreaming.  
  
"Oh my God."  
  
"What?" Willow frowned in concern.  
  
"I just had the strangest dream."  
  
"What was it about?"  
  
"It was weird. It was like a bizarro world or something. You were dating Spike who was my watcher and Anya was with Giles. Dawn had punk rock hair and a tattoo that said 'Bite Me' right on her neck. Mom was still alive and I was getting married."  
  
Willow's eyes were wide. "Too who?"  
  
Buffy looked around to make sure no one else was around. "Xander."  
  
"XANDER?" Willow fairly yelled.  
  
"Shhh!!!" Buffy said as she looked around to make sure no one heard her. No one seemed to pay attention.  
  
"Oh my, I'm sorry, but Xander? And you?"  
  
"I know." Buffy smiled.  
  
"How did that happen?"  
  
"Well, you'd be surprised what happens when you say yes, instead of no." 


End file.
